Take a step back

I wrote it day before yesterday...Sorry for making it too long. It's quite a different one and I personally like it. Hope you like it.

Once 

A misty evening,

You open your eyes,

To a thought.

A realization.

You feel 

Like a colorless clown,

running behind

a Rusty Mannequin.

Like a maniac.

Too tight, 

A griphold.

You struggle to let go

You fight yourself.

A tear

squeezes itself out.

Those trembling hands - 

Fail to find 

a light to fade

The darkness,

that you are about

to push yourself

into.

Finally,

the clock strikes 12. 

The griphold,

you let loose.

Take a step back.

Push him away,

as away as you can.

Deep breath,

you look behind.

The rusty mannequin

you Need.

The clown that 

you have become.

Drugged you feel.

Yet standing straight,

you avoid.

You are not worried.

A picture

in your head

tells you.

He will come.

Apologize.

Say sorry.

One day,

 there will be bliss.

The world shakes,

you stand,

A firm ground.

And you find-

the apple not eaten,

the strand of the ribbon

not broken,

not looked upon.

What If?

What if...

everything goes...

Backward.

The clock strikes 11.

The memories,

Etched forever,

You wait.

But

He never comes.

The sun never rises.

And it dawns 

upon you - 

He was never yours!

Hurt washes you over.

Your heart aches 

in grief.

He never needed you.

With

Blood-red eyes,

And stone-cold heart,

You Take a step back.

Solitude. 

Trying my best...

It's not my personal favorite...not that good...but yeah I wrote it some time back...decided to post! :)

It kills me inside

a little bit everyday,

to see you walk out

of the room

without realizing

how much you mean to me;

how much I truly need you.

It hurts me inside 

a little bit everyday,

to see you look at me

yet behave as if

looking through 

a glass wall,

through nothing, air.

It scares me inside

a little bit everyday,
to think of how
everything will fade
to darkness
and we'll be left
following paths that
never intersect.


I collapse inside
a little bit everyday,
when all my efforts 
bound me as if
I am gagged
and I can't get
the words across.


I lose hope inside
a little bit everyday,
whenever I see you
happy and feel
helpless to see me
so pathetic and lost.


I am dying inside
a little bit everyday,
because I keep 
running out of imagination
and can't seem to
get enough of you.


But... I AM trying inside
a little bit everyday,
because I know
I need to believe
even if you're a treasure

too far out of reach.


-

You mean more than everything to me..

It is kind of cheesy... But then again, I like cheese. :)

I buried it deep

within myself.

Because the thought 

of pulling you in, 

through it all,

feels like sin.

I swallow my tears,

gulp down my fears,

for I know I have no choice,

And I will have to

face it

Head on.

I grit my teeth,

and carry on.

Hide the failure 

through my eyes.

Or when I cease to talk

and dwell in, on negative thoughts.

Often I see myself

hungry for love.

Or even a mere nod

Or a kiss on the forehead.

With a different kind of assurity

that everything 

will be fine.

When the night closes down 

and my mistakes bury me

I feel suffocated

with no place to go

And that is when,

I think of you

so desperately.

You say you don't

mind helping...

But it makes me 

feel guilty,

for sticking onto you

like a parasite. 

You have no idea 

how it feels,

when in deep sea

the warmth of your hug

makes it all okay,

in one go.

That caring tone 

in your voice

is something I always

yearn for,

no matter how much I show

I can survive,

without it, I feel empty.

I try hard to hide it all

from the eyes of the world

try to keep it

away from you...

But you always

seem to hit bullseye.

How do you do it,

is a wonder to me.

But I guess

without you sweetheart, 

I would be no more than

a lifeless being

morose and helpless, in darkness.

I try to divert my feelings

and I can't help but realize

how much you mean to me.

I try my best to go on

but ultimately,

I can't seem to go on without you.

I don't know how to 

get it across but,

here's something,

I would like you to know-

Thank you...for everything

you have ever done...

Because it means more than

everything to me.

:)