Brave

Watching you walk away

I blink my eyes wide open,

trying to digest the reality.

I don't know why

I cant seem to let you go.

When the roof comes crashing in

and I'm left with the blame on my head.

My head spinning,

So wild,

I cant seem to make it stop.

Yesterday seems far off.

I try to look at the future

With a brighter view.

But somehow the past seems

to be catching up.

We decide to walk alone.

Should be easy I tell myself.

You've done it before...

But this time its different.

I don't want it.

The millionth time I wonder-

What is it that I do?

Every time?

Why cant I live a normal life?

But sit dealing with maniacs 

and mirrors and a self demeaning soul?

The thirst hasn't been quenched.

And I will always be looking.

Brave, never misled.

Don't forget me.

I won't forget you too.

Keeping it quiet

An inspiration from a book I read.. :) and some of my favorite songs..

Freshly baked cookies

and the smell of chocolate

as you think of donuts

and muffins.

Suddenly the sun's all warm

smiling brightly at you

and your iPod's playing

that favorite tune..

You tap your feet

Feel the breeze blow your hair.

You feel energized and fresh

and can't wait to dance.

The evenings you feel

so colorful and alive,

Bustling with people

careless and free.

You feel all pretty

and you're more than happy

Suddenly all so helpful

and your eyes are shining bright.

You giggle, laugh

Feel all goody-goody

Crave for your favorite foods,

Yet so relaxed and at peace.

Then it strikes,

why out of the blue,

Is there such a change?

That your view of the same world

Is all the opposite of what you felt?

You, then, grin to yourself

and you feel your heart smiling...

and its reflecting on your face..

You know the reason deep down,

and you have never felt this way before. :)

A walk at the beach...

A friend of mine wrote this piece...it was so true, I decided to post it here! I liked it, hope you like it as well.

          I was walking, I don't know for how long maybe 3 or 4 hours. I had set out from home in an old khaki pants, a brown top and a black cardigan, wearing flip flops. My long hair were tied in a mess. I didn't know where I was headed. My legs were sore with pain and so was my heart. Maybe it was right not to expect things to happen but still I was obsessed. With the help of moonlight, I walked on. Now I had made up my mind it was the beach that was going to hear me cry tonight. I started walking downwards to the beach. At a point I removed my flip flops.

         I walked further till the sea. I could feel the waves splashing at my feet. I didn't care whether it was a high tide or a low one and somewhere I actually wished the waves would take me along. A normal person who is alone at night at the beach would feel totally at peace. But with me, the case was exactly opposite. It was difficult to decide who was more fierce, me or the sea. I had a heap of frustration stored in me but I usually like to cover it with a smile. That was the reason I acted like a drunkard, crazy. The reality was too hard to face; I am lonely. I was dying a little bit inside every time I saw his face, I so pathetically wished for him to be mine but Ha! who was I kidding? He always thought of me just as a friend, I was an insignificant part of his life but he didn't know that he basically made up my life. The time when I actually laughed; not pasted a smile on my face was when I was with him. His witty jokes and how he pulled my leg and made me laugh, made me realize how his existence really mattered a lot. But again for him, I was just a friend. Yet, there were times when he held my hand a little longer than usual or kept staring at me with his piercing hazelnut eyes, made me feel that somewhere he might have some little feelings. Shucks, no - it wasn't that way, he just knew that inside I was very lonely and he wanted me to get over it. He was just being a good friend. What could I do? I had started seeing him as more than one. I just wanted a way out.

             By now, I was all wet. Not only because of the sea, but because of my tears. I so wanted to be done. Once again, I made up the same resolution I knew I couldn't follow. Ignoring him was hard.

I looked at the black sea and the white moon one last time and somehow I was just amazed how they complemented each other so well. I put on my flip flops and started my way back home with a heavy heart and moreover a resolution, bound to break.

Break free

A poem I had written...not too old...yet different. 

Routine - 

the same old path.

Monotonous.

The streets bustling,

people walking,

zombies coming to life.

Sweat. Hard work.

The typical paycheck,

the idiot box, back home.

Stress, less sleep,

food - the enemy.

Routine - 

the same old path.

Rain clashes.

Storm coming your way.

Break free,

Fly.

Shout out loud,

yell,

let the world know

what you are worth.

Bring back the 

sparkle in your eyes.

the glow to your cheeks.

Smile, laugh

Enjoy.

Because

before you know it,

the thunder rolls,

lightning strikes,

and the world 

crumbles,

before your very own eyes.

And you're left helpless
regret is all you see.

Break the chains,
let go.
Before the time's passed
you'll know.
Not weak,
feel the power.
Open your eyes,
see it.
Feel alive.
Dance, sing.
Love and live.
Break free.
Fly,
Soar High.

Trying my best...

It's not my personal favorite...not that good...but yeah I wrote it some time back...decided to post! :)

It kills me inside

a little bit everyday,

to see you walk out

of the room

without realizing

how much you mean to me;

how much I truly need you.

It hurts me inside 

a little bit everyday,

to see you look at me

yet behave as if

looking through 

a glass wall,

through nothing, air.

It scares me inside

a little bit everyday,
to think of how
everything will fade
to darkness
and we'll be left
following paths that
never intersect.


I collapse inside
a little bit everyday,
when all my efforts 
bound me as if
I am gagged
and I can't get
the words across.


I lose hope inside
a little bit everyday,
whenever I see you
happy and feel
helpless to see me
so pathetic and lost.


I am dying inside
a little bit everyday,
because I keep 
running out of imagination
and can't seem to
get enough of you.


But... I AM trying inside
a little bit everyday,
because I know
I need to believe
even if you're a treasure

too far out of reach.


-

Cold November evening...

 It is just a paragraph I wrote one night when I was kinda bored. Read it slow. . . Tell me if you understand it. :)

           I see you walking away from me. The look on your face, undigested. I keep staring at you, not facing me. And as you start walking, I slip my hands into my pockets. With a shattered heart, I look down, at my feet, at the road. I look up again, hopeful, only to see you with her, hand in hand. I see the lane, with cars parked on the right and shops to the left, all dull and gloomy. Suddenly the road seems quiet. The traffic suddenly slowed down. It’s November and the sun is setting. I shiver slightly, Goosebumps all over my arms, left cold. I look down again, numb and blank with no clue what to do, what to think. It’s uneasy, uncomfortable, standing alone on this road in the cold November evening. I wonder what went wrong, what I did or said. I am aware, I should be heading home but somehow my feet are all heavy. The place looks rusted. But you don’t. You look just the way you looked always. I look up in the sky, it’s still blue…with white puffed clouds. The sun, to my left, splashed the sky in tones of purple and orange. I took a deep breath. Pulled my hood over, brushed the strands of my brown hair aside. Everything feels heavy, out of place, alien. My chest hurts, badly. I wanted to curl up somewhere. Close my eyes. Not think about anything, and let the pain have me. With my hands in my jacket pockets, I finally pick my heavy legs and leave the place. I walk dead ahead, not bothered where I end up. The ever bowed head, with my messy and now moist hair. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered now. My ribs aching badly, I start crashing down. Breathing deeply, I look at the teardrop make an impression on my jeans. Why would you do that? I needed you the most, and that’s when you decide to disappear, vanish, go poof…and vaporize into thin air. Fog and mist cover my eyes. I’m generally not the kind of person who would cry over somebody. I clasp the chain in my right pocket and the pendant. It has your picture in it. It starts to drizzle. I realize I was sitting on the front porch steps of Mrs. Heavens. I bend down n tie the laces of my purple converse to avoid facing her…or the people walking by. I don’t have the courage to go to school tomorrow, rather go home and face mum. I rest my head on the wall of the staircase and before I know, I’m into deep slumber. 

Showing the path..

Sometimes when the night grows long
and regrets run through your mind,
you look back on your life
and wonder what you've left behind.
You've won no fame or fortune,
no title, power or land.
No loyal group of followers,
no one at your command.

You brood on all the chances lost,
when you could have had the prize,
But fate stepped in and stole it
right before your very eyes.

Is there any hope for meaning,
any legacy to leave?
Any way to join the ranks of those
who struggle and achieve?

Then a small voice speaks inside you
of a deed done long ago,
a trifling thing or so it seemed.
You had no way to know.
Your kindly act of charity
that turned a life around
and set some soul back on the path
where freedom can be found.

If not for you would have gone undone,
only you could make it so.
You were put here for a reason, friend,
that only God can know.

Faith

I don't know why...but I really liked this one. It was true..to it's nature and it just..came. So..yeah..hope you like it. :)

You see him 

texting again,

It's gotta be you

simple and plain.

That's when

darkens the weather..

You haven't talked

in days together.

Strikes the chord,

the music plays,

instead of yellows 

it's blues and grays.

There is a big lump

in your throat.

You gulp

but it doesn't go.

Suddenly you feel

lonely all over,

insecure, weak 

and out of power.

You take a step

and play strong.

There's possibly nothing

that could ever go wrong.

And you await that reply,

all though the night..

and think positive,

happy and light.

You keep up hope

and fingers crossed.

But you gotta admit

you're scared and lost.

And just when 

you're about to give up,

You see her

and your fear is confirmed.

You tell your brain

mind and heart,

console yourself

to stay apart.

You hate this feeling

and you can't help it

'Jealousy' is the word

yep, you know it.

When time's passed,

and you're feeling alright

Let her have him..

You give up the fight.

You feel the breeze

take a deep breath.

Your time will come

No losing faith.

You

This was in the drafts and I realized I hadn't posted this.. 

Sometimes we wish and keep wishing

sometimes we hope and keep hoping,

but there is someone who

sometimes, fulfills both.

At times, I wish and keep wishing

even when I know it isn't working

with my heart not ready to accept

and a will not ready to shatter.

Once again, after years, I wished

and knew it ain't getting fulfilled

Along came you,

and built a bridge brand new

to that world of attention and heed.

It was different, it was nice

unexpected with absolutely no price

to see someone like you

make way for someone like me.

It was as though the sun

was peeping out of the clouds

after ages of darkness

there it was, shining bright.

And once when I looked back

I saw the journey I traveled so far

and thanked almighty or that caring hand

I'd finally found. 

If only you knew how much you meant to me.

If only you knew how much I needed you.

You made my day when it was dark

I thought positive when I was with you.

I thought people got used to loneliness

and I hoped I would too.

Seems I got it wrong

because I might see myself begging for you. 

So thank you for being there

when I needed it.

And I want to be there

when you need me too.

The beach

Bleh. I don't like this one :P

The beach is a place

where memories are made

where the old ones linger,

and recent ones, still new and fresh.

The feeling no one can forget

when you're standing in the sea

where waves gently crawl by

and splash against your feet.

The breeze is gentle,

with its caring and soft hands

caressing you

and you're eager for more.

It is this place where you find 

people from all around

in bikinis, in shorts,

in summers, to tan out.

You find lovers of every generation

walk around hand in hand

share very special moments

and make special memories.

Collecting shells,

making sand castles,

no one can forget

these childhood games.

When you're happy and cheerful

or when you're down in the dumps

It is here that you come

You trust it with your heart, soul and mind.

You share it with the ocean

and the sun and breeze,

and let your thoughts run and fly

like a bird wild and free.

The beach is a place

where memories are made

where the old ones linger,

and recent ones, still new and fresh.

:)

I didn't know what kind of a title I should give..so this one's probably the first.. without one. Here goes..

I lie on the bed,

close my eyes,

my mind is clouded,

thoughts popping up.

Amidst all, I see you

every time I close my eyes;

And suddenly 

I remember

Your eyes, shining bright

Your hair, gleaming in the sun

You smile...and

I swear

I just skipped a heartbeat.

I open my eyes

the blue ceiling above, I see.

You're no more

But you will always be

a memory, a remainder

of love, pure and bliss.

I love you,

I always will

And every time I miss you,

I lie on the bed,

close my eyes...and

I swear

I just skipped a heartbeat. :)

Reality.

This one..is rather personal. It was written when I wasn't exactly in a mood to, so it isn't my best piece. 

A thank you

for the wonderful day

and the so-called gift

on my birthday.

I turned fifteen,

worst bit of news you could give

that you were parting

and that you wanted "a life to live".

I could see my day

the one I was eagerly waiting for,

cashing and broken

and given away.

I was calm then,

I am calm still,

but if you could ever peek in

it's a hurt and chaotic hill.

Pretty soon I guess,

I got used to it,

Sleepless nights,

tantrums fit.

Then we moved..

and people asked

we made excuses

and kept the grade unmasked.

It's been a year,

since that day

yet I can't help

but dismay.

I did forgive you

'cause you tried your best,

to keep it alive

to keep it suppressed.

It isn't your fault,

that it fell apart

I tried too,

with an aching heart.

I wish you both could understand,

it's not about me,

it's not about us,

it's about we being a happy family.

What's done, is done

what's wished, is wished

you can't do anything but face

the lone reality that's buried. 

Review? I would really like one for this poem..

Some words...

When you stumble across sadness, failure,
Remember, it is happening because
Life realized that you needed a dose 
to get you off those faulty clouds
and that, you were running really high. 
Make it a point...to look at things 
in a different perspective, with a different thought.
All you need to do,
is to flip the coin..when and as you need it.
Sometimes, bad things happen 
to give way to the good things that come later.
You don't really have to experience everything
in one go, that'll just be meaningless, right?
If you believe..and create your world of make believe,
you have yourself to rely on.
Forever. 

-- Steven 'Steve' Jobs,
     Apple.

Race against time..

 

It is really rare to

find someone

who would say it

with courage and might

and without fear.

It is really weird

when you know what

you feel is wrong

yet, you really can't stop

feeling it.

It is just so irritating

when you know

you're doing something

you shouldn't be...

and you can't find a way

to stop doing it.

It is really hard

to forget it all

and in a second

shed all your sorrows

and be happy with the people

you know, don't deserve it.

It's heartening to see

how difficult it is

to carry on correspondence

when you know, 

you can't take it anymore. 

It is scary and sad to see

how your near and dear ones

turn out to be on the wrong path

and you can't help but stare 

and dismay and do 

absolutely nothing about it.

It's sad...really..

to see how often

I am at loss of words

to describe this life

as it is racing by

and I find myself 

up late behind

trying hard....

to just catch up.

A Quote -

FAME is a scentless flower, with a gaudy crown of gold..

But FRIENDSHIP is a breathing rose, with sweets in every fold. 

A Book of Memories..

Hidden in the attic,

all the way upstairs,

is something very special,

that I would like to share.

My hopes,

my dreams,

old photographs,

of good and bad times that make me laugh.

The joy of a hug,

the thrill of a kiss,

leaves me to remember

 the pure, simple bliss.

I cry for the fun,

and giggle for the pain,

I enjoyed the good life 

I was able to maintain.

The thoughts and wishes,

they all stay with me,

all of these contained

in my book of memories.. 

Treasures In Life

 

There are treasures in life, but owners are few

of money and power, to buy things brand new.

Yet you can be wealthy... and feel regal too

if you will just look for the treasures in you.

These treasures in life are not hard to find,

when you look in your soul, your heart and your mind.

For when you are willing, to share what's within,

 your fervent search for riches will magically end.

The joy and the laughter, the smile that you bring;

the heart unafraid, to love and to sing.

The hand always willing to help those in need,

 ones quick to reach out, to labor and fee.

So thank you for sharing these great gifts inside,

the caring, the cheering, the hug when one cried.

Thanks for the energy, encouragement too,

and thank you for sharing the treasures in you...